Quickly... Help Me!

Currently my life is being sucked out of me, and every semblance of creativeness is being juiced from my brain. It's all I can do to type this urgent message..... if there is anyone out there who knows how to escape munchkin hell - and I don't mean the weirdass card game, or whatever it is - please send aid!
I am trapped. Constant noise assails me, and it's a chaotic screeching amid cries for immediate help, that as soon as I give, it is no longer needed. and then there is the coercion to play with boy toys and fix numerous disassembled lego cars, trucks and whatever else those things are supposed to resemble. I am forced to go to toy shops! we must look at every toy that we looked at the day previously. Every vehicle that has sounds must be pressed, pulled or pushed. I must guard against the packaging being destroyed. and like every other parent in the toy shop, I find myself saying; you've got another 5 mins then we're leaving. But he's too smart now. He knows we really don't have anywhere to go. bah! I just want a coffee, doesn't he understand..... it's far too early for something stronger.
In short, I am the slave to a seven year old on school holidays.
How much longer do I have to play mariokart? how many hours do I have to stay at the swimming pool? why can't I go online and do just a little 2 sentence post. Can't I even do this blog??
Even now, the shouts reign through the house. He's not winning on the Wii. the little lego jedis fail him. His childhood goal in life - to own Boba Fett - is still a distant dream.
*sigh* Now it's too damn hot to go to any park, where he can run for a few hours and exhaust himself to death.(yes, it's free) yet even there I must watch, praise, be attentive. When does this happen to me? when did this entrapment happen to me? How?

I need help! Are there any sensible people left in the world who don't have kids? Please send me some of your freedom, or at the least tell me how you wish you had kids. This naive statement would make me laugh, hysterically - Laughing is good medicine so they say, and I need a good shot. aaargh! ok just send wine and chocolates, remember wine and chocolates!

don't forget me. I'll still be here. oh wait, no, I'm needed.

think of me.